“I bust the windows out your car….you see you can’t just play with people’s feelings…you’ll probably say that it was juvenile…but I think that I deserve to smile” (Lyrics by Jazmine Sullivan).
We’ve all had moments in our life where someone close to us…be it family member, friend, or lover…has hurt us. Everyone handles hurt, anger and other negative emotions differently. My girl Jazmine Sullivan busts windows out of people’s cars and carves her initials with a crowbar! Some people put up walls and cut people out of their lives. And some people internalize their feelings and self-destruct.
Being the grown @$$ woman that I am, I have experienced betrayal and hurt in many forms. As I’ve grown, the way those experiences get handled has evolved as I have evolved as a person. I am a very introspective person so I have taken every single one of those experiences and learned from them different ways to handle the betrayal and hurt. So while I absolutely love Jazmine Sullivan’s song, that is not the way that I would do it…partly because as the injured party…I would clearly be the prime suspect…but mainly because in my opinion, that is not the most effective way to express your emotions.
Now as I said, everyone handles hurt, anger, and other negative emotions differently. But based on my experiences – here is my suggestion. But before I get there…let me provide an example. Imagine that the person you have been spending time with messed around with someone you both know…not really a good friend of yours yet, but someone that rolls in the same circle. Now imagine that the person messed around with that other person in your home…and then laid down in your bed with you a few hours later, with you having no knowledge of what went down between the two of them. And now further imagine, the members of your circle knew this information and did not think it was necessary to share it with you. Clearly, with this knowledge – you would have every right to be hurt and to feel that you have been betrayed, not just by that person you’ve been spending time with, but by the other members of the circle. The issue is – how do you handle it.
I contend that “busting the windows out the car” should not be the option exercised. Here is my suggested response – intake the information, allow yourself time to review and reflect, and then address it head on. I do not support retaliation or vindictive behavior that causes destruction. Ultimately that doesn’t get your point across – it just makes you look like a vindictive person and that does not cause the source of your hurt or betrayal to understand what they’ve done.
Now don’t get it twisted…back in my younger days, I had one revengeful moment where I created a situation that caused the person that hurt and betrayed me to understand the same. But like I said earlier…with each experience I have evolved.
So I raise the question to the Swagstar Generals…have you ever had a vindictive moment? Having grown some…would you do the same today?
We’ve all had moments in our life where someone close to us…be it family member, friend, or lover…has hurt us. Everyone handles hurt, anger and other negative emotions differently. My girl Jazmine Sullivan busts windows out of people’s cars and carves her initials with a crowbar! Some people put up walls and cut people out of their lives. And some people internalize their feelings and self-destruct.
Being the grown @$$ woman that I am, I have experienced betrayal and hurt in many forms. As I’ve grown, the way those experiences get handled has evolved as I have evolved as a person. I am a very introspective person so I have taken every single one of those experiences and learned from them different ways to handle the betrayal and hurt. So while I absolutely love Jazmine Sullivan’s song, that is not the way that I would do it…partly because as the injured party…I would clearly be the prime suspect…but mainly because in my opinion, that is not the most effective way to express your emotions.
Now as I said, everyone handles hurt, anger, and other negative emotions differently. But based on my experiences – here is my suggestion. But before I get there…let me provide an example. Imagine that the person you have been spending time with messed around with someone you both know…not really a good friend of yours yet, but someone that rolls in the same circle. Now imagine that the person messed around with that other person in your home…and then laid down in your bed with you a few hours later, with you having no knowledge of what went down between the two of them. And now further imagine, the members of your circle knew this information and did not think it was necessary to share it with you. Clearly, with this knowledge – you would have every right to be hurt and to feel that you have been betrayed, not just by that person you’ve been spending time with, but by the other members of the circle. The issue is – how do you handle it.
I contend that “busting the windows out the car” should not be the option exercised. Here is my suggested response – intake the information, allow yourself time to review and reflect, and then address it head on. I do not support retaliation or vindictive behavior that causes destruction. Ultimately that doesn’t get your point across – it just makes you look like a vindictive person and that does not cause the source of your hurt or betrayal to understand what they’ve done.
Now don’t get it twisted…back in my younger days, I had one revengeful moment where I created a situation that caused the person that hurt and betrayed me to understand the same. But like I said earlier…with each experience I have evolved.
So I raise the question to the Swagstar Generals…have you ever had a vindictive moment? Having grown some…would you do the same today?
14 Comentários:
Never had a moment like that... i would just express disappointment and would hope that would be painful enough..
I believe that any woman any age with proper motivation would find her self with a crowbar
yeah I would never do it either... first and foremost because I always messed with dudes that worshipped their cars like it was God and would have a heart attack if a bird took a crap on it so I would probably be dead if I busted the windows out of their car. But I do love that song though... I will be seeing her and maxwell in concert on sunday... I cant wait!
lol...oh boy. 2 perspectives on this...
#1. try not to assume that everyone knows what you know, even though initially you might've not known everything.
#2. ultimately, you gotta remember that no one is gonna look out for you but you, remember that.
Vindication is for the weak, being responsible is for the strong. Easy.
-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com
Ed, I think that was well said and very true. In this world the only person that 100% has your back at all times is you. You are responsible for you.
Vitte, I would hurt a mofo for f*cking with my car. Thats a no laughing matter.
I'm sure statistics will prove that Ms Sullivan is the leading cause of a large number of domestic cases this year. Many a female is getting yoked and beaten for messing with the wrong guy's automobile.
I have bitten a guy (ex-boyfriend) on his shoulder bcuz he disrepected me. Idk remember what he said. But I left me mark and gave him a slight scar.
Since that day, almost 4 yrs ago...I haven't gotten so angry that situation recurred.
It wasn't his car, just a little flesh wound, not a big deal, right?
Btw, I like this song too. Lol.
Hmm..someone I've been spending time with, will get a totally different reaction from someone I'm crazy in love with..keyword being crazy. Different connections and emotions with a person will cause you to react differently in a situation like that. I can't say that I will never do anything like that, but I do hope that I don't get so emotional in a situation that I just simply react without thinking about the consequences, ie. a felony charge!
No song, no action, and/or spoken words can condone a man putting his hands on a woman. Period.
People need to stop taking songs so literally.
Vindication may be for the weak, but usually when a relationship is tested by one person cheating, it usually begins to be resolved when the cheater can begin to understand and FEEL the consequences of their actions.
I admit it I have almost crossed that line. I never thought I could be that crazy chick who picks up a brick or confronts anyone about something like cheating in that fashion. But love is a terrible drug. When your supply is messed up or your stash is compromised...you want to get even. Now is this right, no. And it may take a minute to think rationally and realize....either they don't value you or its time to move on....put down the crowbar and put on that Freakum dress and ...Shake em off.
Ms. Sullivan needs to stop recommending that women do stupid things. Especially this part:
"I bust the windows out your car
You know I did it cause I left my mark
Wrote my initials with a crow bar"
Now that's stupid. If you're going to commit a criminal act, dont sign your name to it. Good quick way to end up in jail, that. Sort of like that old song by Blu Cantrell where she suggests that some jilted woman should sell all of her boyfriend's things and clean out his bank acct.
I hate to say it ladies, but going to jail will *NOT* make you feel better.
Here's a funny last verse for this song:
I bust the windows out your car.
And now I'm sittin behind jailhouse bars.
And every night I take it in the arse,
'cause I broke the windows out your car.
When you are a child and you do something wrong you were spanked or punished in some other way.
How are cheaters punished?
cheaters are punished in karma, it'c not your job to mess with that. A cheater is punished when you leave them cause obviously you are worth more than that
I've never been in that kind of situation so I can't say oh I'd do this this and that or I wouldn't do this this and that.
Imma just hope that it never happens to me or if it does that I handle it the right way that doesn't involve me going to jail lol
actually the best thing to do is fake a make up while hooking up with someone else... kills em every time!
btw I've not bust his windows.. just strangled with speaker wire... he didn't try anything else!
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