We all know the statistics right…there are more women in the world then men. And, after jail and violence, there are DEFINITELY more black women in the world then black men. So let’s assume that you are a woman that wants to date/marry a wonderful black man – knowing the statistics, what are your relationship imperatives (or must haves)? For me, understanding the person that I am and not be willing to compromise things that are important to me – here are my relationship imperatives:
1) J.O.B. – I am an educated woman with a wonderful job, and the person that I am with MUST be, at a minimum, on my same level with regards to goals and dreams. And be ambitious in his own right. IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE – I have guided someone I was with through losing a job and searching for new employment. I believe that when you are with the person you truly care about, guiding them through hard times is a relationship imperative.
2) Sports enthusiastic – My t.v. and car radio are tuned to ESPN on the regular. I am a female that not only wants to watch the game, but lives and dies for football and basketball season. I cannot be with someone that does not share the same passion for sports.
3) No jealousy – the majority of my best friends are men and I am an admitted flirt. Since that is not going to change EVER, the person I am with has to be someone who is confident enough in himself to understand that.
Now, some of you might be looking at this list thinking, “what about respect?” or “what about showing that you care?” I left those points off purposely because those are things that from my perspective go without being said. I shouldn’t even have to state that if you don’t treat someone with respect or you don’t show that you care, there would be no relationship. I am assuming those points because they are the basics – if you don’t have those, you shouldn’t even be having a conversation about a relationship. What you should be doing without those basics is moving the hell on and not thinking twice about it!!
So, let’s assume the basics – you’ve found someone that treats you with respect and that you care about – what are your relationship imperatives?
1) J.O.B. – I am an educated woman with a wonderful job, and the person that I am with MUST be, at a minimum, on my same level with regards to goals and dreams. And be ambitious in his own right. IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE – I have guided someone I was with through losing a job and searching for new employment. I believe that when you are with the person you truly care about, guiding them through hard times is a relationship imperative.
2) Sports enthusiastic – My t.v. and car radio are tuned to ESPN on the regular. I am a female that not only wants to watch the game, but lives and dies for football and basketball season. I cannot be with someone that does not share the same passion for sports.
3) No jealousy – the majority of my best friends are men and I am an admitted flirt. Since that is not going to change EVER, the person I am with has to be someone who is confident enough in himself to understand that.
Now, some of you might be looking at this list thinking, “what about respect?” or “what about showing that you care?” I left those points off purposely because those are things that from my perspective go without being said. I shouldn’t even have to state that if you don’t treat someone with respect or you don’t show that you care, there would be no relationship. I am assuming those points because they are the basics – if you don’t have those, you shouldn’t even be having a conversation about a relationship. What you should be doing without those basics is moving the hell on and not thinking twice about it!!
So, let’s assume the basics – you’ve found someone that treats you with respect and that you care about – what are your relationship imperatives?
7 Comentários:
1. I'm with you, must have a job and be on my level (at least), education wise. I'm currently in school. I've tried the guys that weren't, including the hustla.... I'll leave that for someone else to experiment with.
2. I need him to be seeking to strengthen his relationship with GOD. This used to not be on my top list, but now that I'm working on it, I need my mate to be, also.
I'm sure there is more.... I need to think. ;)
relationship with GOD is the key, no jealousy is key, but you need to calm down with the random flirting...
oh, and you need someone with a sense of humor. nothing worse than someone who's sensitive, or overly shy, or doesn't know how to have a good time. Easy.
-Ed.
I'll agree with both Ed and Nicki...you gotta have some kind of relationship with God (in whatever way you choose). And similar to having a sense of humor, just don't take yourself too seriously. Be able to clown around and get clowned ON and keep it movin.
Also, being open minded - willing to try new things and respect other's opinions.
1. They should have a strong to "normal" relationship with their parents and/or family. I HATE seeing black men who dont respect/appreciate their family. Watever issues you have, they can be worked out in my opinion. Family is very important to me.
2. A romantic. I believe in love. True blue love, the kind you see in the movies. I cant date a man who doesnt, and who tries to convince me it doesnt exist.
I would have to say my must have in anserious relationship is trust and faith. You have to be able to trust me and I have to be able to trust you. Otherwise, we won't ever be able to be truely happy.
Faith is "faith in us", you have to be able to see past the hard times and see us together. Faith is also some level of faith in GOD, whatever you call him.
My major this is COMMUNICATION...without that, I do not see how anything else could work. He needs to be able to open his mouth and speak his mind, because I am willing to listen.
I would have to say trust is above all. Without it there is nothing. Second, would have to be insecurity. If you don't have them in check then that will put a strain on the relationship. Third, would be unselfishness if you can't see pass yourself how can you see your partners.
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